Q&A with Mullet Man

Q: DEAR MULLET MAN,

I WAS BARRA FISHING THE OTHER DAY OUT OF DARWIN AND WE TOOK HOME A 70CM BARRA FOR TEA. I FILLETED THE FISH, CUT IT INTO CHUNKS AND THEN THE COPPERS PULLED ME OVER AND FINED ME BECAUSE THE SKIN WAS GONE FROM THE FILLET. THEY THEN RECKONED BECAUSE I CUT THE FILLETS INTO 12 PIECES I HAD CAUGHT 6 FISH AND ALL THE FILLETS WERE UNDERSIZED SO THEY FINED ME FOR THAT AS WELL. WHAT DO YOU RECKON ABOUT THIS TYPE OF CRAP?

UNBELIEVABLE BUT TRUE, DARWIN.

A: Dear Unbelievable,

Ah the Territory! The only place in Australia where you don’t need a boat licence, can drive a boat pissed, don’t need boat rego but fuck me, skin a barra fillet and you could be headed for the slammer! Yep, it is all true.

What a complete pile of garbage. We’ve got a pedantic fish police set up that requires the skin to be left on so the species of fish can clearly be identified by the copper. I mean, if you’ve got one fish and you skinned the fillets, why fucking worry? I was talking to a few of my Territory mates about this and they are all in agreement it is one of the most illogical stupid fucked rules in the history of the NT, even the coppers are sick of it.